August Insights

Castaway in the Avon

2011-11-28T01:24:00.001-08:00

How long have I yearned for an answer,
The answer for betrayal, was nothing but a word of apology, 
To whom shall I blame upon for this tragedy?
Yet apology can do no more than to soothe a wounded heart, 
Time heals the wound yet leaves a scar, for it is the mark of experience.

"Thus, let my will be done, to erase all from existing memory,
To free thyself of this pointless endeavor, 
and to release myself from this reckless behavior,
So that I will rise in renewed vigor.
O hook of yesteryear, flow freely with the tides of Avon,
To create an opportunity to love once more. 
          Alas! The air of spring approaches!"

Now is a time of calm and triviality,
for I know not the thoughts of the other.
The slightest clue may be hidden in Daisies Sentiment,
though I am clueless about the uncertainties that tomorrow may bring,I  shall not falter, I will not give up, because now I am strong, I am free  once more.

When the mist settles, my eyes will see once more,

and the lingering shall be lifted. Forgiveness

The Story

2011-11-28T01:08:00.000-08:00

Born as the youngest son in a lively family of five, I was raised in Malaysia for the first twenty years of my life, until Year 2009, where I've decided to pursue my dreams overseas, hence to New Zealand. There, I was a student of Otago University in Dunedin, and life in Otago was truly an eye opener. The good, the bad, the weird, and the ugly, I reckon it to be the perfect concoction to a perfectly well balanced life. By the Year 2011, I graduated. What's next?

*This blog has been active since Year 2006, and has recently been revamped, with all its historical posts archived.*

Strings of Faith

2010-11-25T05:54:00.000-08:00

It starts with a few departures - life transitions.
Transitions that brings forth waves of becoming sentiments.
However, over here, a brief and peculiar void, familiar to the one about four seasons before,
So eager to break free from this lonely carapace, he stand, places his left foot before himself, and the right thereafter - the first step towards a new December.

And there he sits by himself on a wooden bench facing the vast northern horizon, and witness the ocean waves perform its nature while the seagulls choir away. Just another moment of nothingness, as he spend some time with himself. Comfortable. Then, a faint murmur in the winds, songs from a faraway land lulls him gradually away from reality.

There, in dreams of dreams he sees chances and opportunities, where the only thing that stands in the way is fate, patience, and ultimately himself. Despite the great complexity, there is nothing to be discontented with. What fear is there towards something that is currently non-existent at present?

*SNAP* and back to reality again, the clock never stopped ticking after all.

Castaway in Avon

2010-09-05T04:07:00.000-07:00

How long have I yearned for an answer,
The answer for betrayal, was nothing but a word of apology, 
To whom shall I blame upon for this tragedy?
Yet apology can do no more than to soothe a wounded heart, 
Time heals the wound yet leaves a scar, for it is the mark of experience.

"Thus, let my will be done, to erase all from existing memory,
To free thyself of this pointless endeavor, 
and to release myself from this reckless behavior,
So that I will rise in renewed vigor.
O hook of yesteryear, flow freely with the tides of Avon,
To create an opportunity to love once more. 
          Alas! The air of spring approaches!"

Now is a time of calm and triviality,
for I know not the thoughts of the other.
The slightest clue may be hidden in Daisies Sentiment,
though I am clueless about the uncertainties that tomorrow may bring,I shall not falter, I will not give up, because now I am strong, I am free once more.

When the mist settles, my eyes will see once more,

and the lingering shall be lifted. Forgiveness  

Daisy's Sentiment

2010-08-22T03:55:00.000-07:00

Back-faced emotions reunite once more,
as the hour of awakening and revelation draws anear,
the reality that was sealed by ornamental strength, stitched unto thee,
no longer shall they split asunder all that he possesses, said the beholder,
lift thy heart of fear and sorrow for they are void of joy and seamstresses of the dark,
release thyself and possess the courage to breathe in the sweet sentiment of yesteryear,
blessings are bestowed upon all who believe, yet thou know not how blessed thou art.

Across came the soul-filled maiden; flusters thy foolish heart,
with great hesitance, the curtain of affection was unraveled to thee,
may it be the most foolish and indecisive of doings,
yet all was done so that sincerity and friendship will prevail,
thou art the bringer of calm , exchange of words is nothing less than pure encouragement,
and so I stood on one side of the line, with patience to discover if the line is safe, the beauty of friendship.

Bittersweet Sugar Plum

2010-04-14T03:44:00.001-07:00

Dawn shall rise with clouds of sentiment. In a midst of all that unravels by the day, the battering cometh unto thee. Thou can run not from this inevitable escapade, nor could thou ignore that is before thee. Not the best, yet certainly not the worst as the air...perfumed by the scent of the bittersweet sugar plum. O...thy presence heals my foolish heart. To be able to have a taste of what's forbidden , yet unable to have it in possession O, the bittersweet agony.

Petals spring and petals wither, fairies embark on a journey of wonder. Beneath the diamond arch lies a wounded serpent slithering through its own blood. A once preeminent figure with all its grandeur, now struck by depthless desperation, glory split asunder menacingly. The bells kept chiming.

"Ring~~~Ring~~~Ring~~~" - The call of duty. To stand or to falter?

The Otherworld

2010-03-02T20:06:00.001-08:00

Liberal thinking is infant no longer, and the bubble of organized ideology that society engenders,are nothing but distortions.

One stands within the bubble, looks at that which is outside,see not the actuality that stand before them. Thus, meaningless, insignificant, and tells no tale.

Let the mind animate, and hear what the Gate-Keeping Eagle has to say, because he who is wise deemed it to be true, and swore it upon heaven and on earth.

Gullible as always, they were unable to realize the animosity that remained elusive since forever. They saw unity, hope and celebration, things of great unfamiliarity.

The three were actually marks of wound of an injured soul.

Dreaming on a Sunny day

2010-02-20T22:59:00.000-08:00

On thy thumb layed a copper coin, a work of art on one side and mirror-like on the other. With one flip, it was launched in the air, flipping perpetually revealing an illumination of two faces that the eye cannot witness, yet so beautiful. Quit this reminisence at once, for something unfulfilled stands before thee!

The mind is idle, activity starved, it feels incapacitated, in the verge of The Grand Transition, taken and untaken by the light, fading in and fading out, unable to reason nor make connections between the entities which coexists with life itself. As time keeps ticking, reality kept creating, doing what was real and unreal, and reverts back to the point of no change.

The Void

2010-02-06T02:46:00.000-08:00

Dawn approaches with little hope but rain,

The unending and perpetual rain has washed my enthusiasm away.

I woke up in the morning, walk downstairs, and there was no one.

In the laundry room where I was, there was no one.

In the hallway where I live, there was no one.In Manawa, where lively parties were held, now so silent till the computer cooling fans could be heard, there was no one.

At the car park, where people used to socialize, now void of life, there was no one.

And for each of the houses that stand on this plot of Toroa, only the shadow of its inhabitants remains, there was no one.

This entire void, only to be replaced by the sounds of rain water lapping from the plastic roof, droplets on the window glass, puddles on an uneven road, and the water gushes by the car that swifts by, and there was no one.

Here I stood, in my black hood, under the depressing rain…and there was no one.

Maybe this is what they call, Loneliness.

The Good, The Bad, The Strange

2010-02-02T16:29:00.000-08:00

Peculiar...peculiar indeed, that the human mind could play a game of trickery with itself. I for one, find myself in the edge of nothingness at moment, absolutely no idea whatsoever, kept walking because I believe that is the right thing to do. The answers that I need is but a cyclical epiphany, I see it now, but vague afterward, until later shall it become clear again. It is comforting, but at the same time uncomfortable. The heart is strong and faithful, but irritated by a small torn. The will to endure is strong, but weakening by the day, all trapped in a paradox of thoughts, unable to unwind, yet truth stares directly into the soul. Complicated.

Belief, The Last Defence

2010-01-24T18:50:00.001-08:00

It was the deepest search he has ever had in his life so far. Before him stood a tribunal of reflections, all of which were himself. The compassion, the loving, the hate, the devil, and himself rendezvoused on a single space of immaculate nothingness.

Compassion says to give it all, and to stay truthful until the revelation. There is nothing to lose says he, for all that will happen shall serve thy soul with virtue.

The Loving adds by discussing the truths about infant love, the naked love that God by his will made possible, to bring contrast and spectrum to a colorless reality.

The hate however, debates such unearthly patience and selflessness, foolish and ignorant says he, because no being deserve kindness to such extent when they alone are unable to portray the same.

The devil introduces fear, stabs it into an already wounded heart. Out bleeds perpetual sorrow and anger, turns a tribunal of discussion into a physical debate, causing mass confusion.

Then to himself, not of black or white, always on the side of balance decides for the first time to Belief and prepare for another aftermath that will or will not come.

4RI3ITIVE : The Progress

2009-12-21T18:44:00.000-08:00

At long last, independence! It is the moment that has been awaited since the day they were immortal no longer. "Rejoice! brothers and sisters, Rejoice!," said the new King.

What knowledge that hath been inherited, shall be made remembered ways of the Capricorn. We are not fools. We, are capable. The Power has been granted unto us for a reason.

To love, and to give; and to do to others as they would have done unto us. To cherish, and to serve; and to share the bread of thy labor to all in vain. Maybe?

Oracle foretells a sign approaching, for the King, the Golden Eagle, shall receive an epiphany, and to question all that was right, and to put all righteousness into justice.

Revolution across kingdoms, the world will revolve in a line of clear distinction. Every kingdom shall be different from one another, and all conflict shall face the justice of separation, so that his will be done.

Brother against brother, a biblical conflict that would lead to a lengthy separation. The hope of unity in speculation in the eyes of the Golden Eagle.

To stop one conflict, is to put an unending supply of physical pressure unto those who deserve the fate who is thought to deserve, for it is the new way life engenders.

-Augustine-

4RI3ITIVE : The First Experience

2009-11-04T14:57:00.000-08:00

Since the first breathe, the follower has always co-existed with Adam, a follower of undying obedience and of unquestionable loyalty.

It was the only entity that Adam had from being the only one, then came the day deceived by the serpent, resulting to exile everlasting,

Adam soon realized that the follower does not actually follow him, but by Adam's sheer will and might that the follower surrenders.

This infant experience, a paradox of the Heavens yet so satisfying,intangible in the realm of earth and water, but reign supreme in the absence of light.

That entity was the shadow of Adam himself, an entity so powerful in the presence of voidness, yet helpless in the presence of the Greatness.

They who look into the reflection forsees the hour of significance. A battle of light and shadow, but by virtue and faith will the outcome be decided.

"Let not the light be clouded by the shadows, for true power lies in the light", the wiseman says. Light is the catalyst of shadow, and light has the power to supress the shadow to show its true nature.

One enters a dark cave. The desire to see leads the one to create light. May it be light from a torch or sparks from a flint, there is nothing the shadow could do to stop or end the light.

Only at the mercy of whoever that has created the light in the first place. This is because shadow, is but an illusion that one witnesses in the absence of light.

The shadow shows the eyes nothing but nothingness, thus one look but sees nothing in the shadow.

However, light enables the eyes to see, the light enables one to see and admire the beauty of what lies in front and beyond them in the presence light.

(still under revision to make better sense)

4RI3ITIVE : Just a peek.

2009-10-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

The sacred knowledge that was given, puddle on a humble platter. Only the purest of hearts would be able to digest its wisdom, and there they stood, with eyes set to not watch but see, heads descend to see that was given.

The reflections signify a time of prosper and progress. Beings intriguingly similar to the reflection of their own. The beings, unusually dressed were indeed a reflection of the successors.

A time of progress was not all that will be, for there were more to be witnessed. It was also a time of depravity, falls forgiveness, and dire consequence.

No faith, no innocence. The society was but a stage play, the playwright and the blight writes and dramatizes the act with its actors true motives masked with burgeoning delusions of grandeur.

Then, there was judgement. The public know not the naked emotion that was conveyed behind the masks that was made not by the actors.

Until they realized that the words there spoken contains the whisper of the actors pure conscience. They act without the will to act. "Look once more!" he mutters.

With eyes wide open, they see a prisoner. “Ooooh! A puppet and the puppeteer!".

4RI3ITIVE : Gifts

2009-09-24T05:47:00.000-07:00

One inexplicable moment of void, the moment chronological significance, then there was time and existence, the miracle of life.

In a space of dirt and soil, were the descendants of Adam & Eva, still trying to make sense of "everything", a once forbidden trait to master.

Then there was light, light so immaculate that it brings tears to the eyes of innocent souls. In awe, they witness this unearthly but global event, for within the ray lies a vague shadow of the messengers.

They offered knowledge and virtue. They bestowed upon the children, a catalyst that unshackles the great mysteries of the existence.

The will to live, the meaning of love, the power of choice, the knowledge of cultivation, the method of expression, the values of chilvary, all gave birth to culture, and the ability to look into what is yet to come.

And they, the chosen ones who posses the gift of white speech shall live on and pass down the sacred knowledge to those who will believe. Speak in vigor in the midst of despise.

The day of independence will come, the messenger announces...

4RI3ITIVE : The Great Constuction

2009-09-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

Four times, the wheel of life turned, with major events occurring between the pillars.

Forefathers warning left unheeded, humanity ventures towards the path of uncertainty, and path that very much resemble a slithering serpent.

Children of Adam, an infant race of greed, savage and flamboyance, have not the intelligence to decipher the secrets of the universe.

Pride so naive and fragile, they become a suitable prey for cursed vultures and keepers of false grace. Now…now is the advent of Great Significance.

The hour of unraveling and judgment, desperation surges throughout kingdoms placing fear in the hearts of young and old…the hour in which the wheel completes its cycle,

Yet there is still a gleam of hope, as there has always been. The answer lies with the monuments built by Adam himself, the ancients.

They who witness the Grande descend shall construct the Peer, the missing link that would preserve the knowledge for generations to come, as instructed by the Celestial one.

And so it begins the great wonders of ancient civilization.